An Easy Guide to Online Trolling

Our Facebook community is over 420k members strong, and that means we get to read so many stories from around the world, our questions get answered fast, and we have the opportunity to connect some of the most amazing women on the planet.

It also creates a playground for nasty online trolls. So, let’s talk about what that is, what it means, what happens if you troll this group, and….wait for it…if you are a troll yourself and don’t even know it.

What is a troll anyway?

A troll “deliberately posts inflammatory, irrelevant, or offensive comments or other disruptive content”

This can mean you give your off-topic, unsolicited opinion in the comments of a post. Extra points if you curse, call someone stupid, or bring up controversial politics in a totally unrelated space…like a travel group.

To be clear: trolling is not discussing different sides of an argument, you can respectfully have different opinions, but when they are irrelevant, unsolicited, and hateful, that’s trolling.

This sounds awful. who is doing this?

The fact is, we have all been a bit of a troll here and there. When you comment on Aunt Sally’s ignorant political meme, when we get drunk and sloppy online, even fighting for social justice can make you a troll if you insert your opinions inappropriately, aggressively, and out of context.

Some of us are more troll-y than others, and if you ask us, we believe that unhappiness and mental/emotional instability, even when it’s just temporary, can turn any normally nice person into a giant online troll.

Wait. Am I a troll?

Yea, girl, maybe you are. Maybe you’re not.

Our mini self assessment:

1. Have you called a stranger mean names in comments?

2. Have you inserted your political opinions in an unrelated travel post?

3. Have you rudely messaged the admin of a free group to demand that they moderate a post the way that gets your message across?

4. Have you made harsh judgments about someone from only a few lines of a post and shared them in the comments?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you may be a troll. So, stop it!

Why Should I not be a Troll?

Trolling and online bullying are separated only by a fine line. You probably wouldn’t actively make people feel small, stupid, and call them names to their face in public, at work, or among friends, so why spread that hate online? We know why…because you can get away it and because you are very unhappy.

We know times are so hard right now, we get you, we see you, and we are right there with you. But do you really feel better when you make strangers online feel worse?

If nothing else, it means you will get blocked from the best online spaces, so if spreading bad juju doesn’t make you want to cut it out, then do it for yourself.

Our self help guide to stop being a miserable troll

Practice self awareness: feel the anger welling up when you see someone traveling while you are stuck at home? Take a breath. You’re don’t know their situation, you can not control them. You are angry and probably jealous, but their actions are none of your business. Scroll past.

Type something nice instead: Really want to ream a girl out for some really righteous reason? If your fingers just won’t leave the keyboard, tell her how cute her dress is instead or force yourself to scroll past.

Go find some happy: We don’t know your life. Go do something to work out this aggression you feel. You’re not mad at strangers online who don’t share your opinions, you’re just unhappy. Go find your happy and scroll past.

Find help: Times are hard and we all need some extra love, support, and kindness. If you don’t feel like you can give that or you don’t feel you are getting enough, please get some help for yourself. A quick Google will find the depression/suicide hotline in your local area. And also…you guessed it…scroll past.

How we handle trolls

We don’t give too many chances to trolls, because we see this behavior as against the very core of our purpose – to empower, support, and uplift one another.

We may turn off comments to a post that is getting especially heated. We hate doing this, because we would prefer to be able to disagree without being hateful.

The bottom line:
Ask yourself if you are a troll.
(Be honest.)
Now stop it.

Your Beauty Products Could Be Making You Sick

Tinkerbell perfume, Bonnie Bell lip balm, Aqua Net. These items and so many more became my “pretty” arsenal growing up in a society where its marketing tentacles dug deep into my psyche and planted themselves there, making me believe they would help me look better and feel better about myself.

For the past 23 years, I’ve been writing about and promoting beauty products. I started off as a beauty editor for teen magazines and eventually opened a PR agency representing beauty brands from all over the world to the media. I guess like so many women, I was prepped for this job ever since I was a little girl.

Until the last few years with the whole “clean” beauty trend (products made without ingredients shown or suspected to harm human health) did I really start waking up to the reality of what I – and most of the cosmetics-loving public – was actually doing to ourselves every time we spritzed, lacquered or rubbed into our skin some fancy, often-times, scented formula concealed in pretty packaging. We were exposing ourselves to potentially harmful chemicals that may not be in the best interest of our health.

Quick fact: When you see the word “fragrance” listed on a product, it could basically be any of the 3000 synthetic or natural chemicals formulators mix into their recipes to make something smell amazing.

Beauty Industry Accountability

This new level of accountability in the beauty industry can be applauded thanks to the rise of consumer consciousness and their demand for transparency. If you’re reading this, you probably make a point to scan the list of ingredients on the back of your face lotion. Kudos to you! We all have to be our own mini czars these days with what we put on our bodies.

But in all seriousness, do you know the difference between Phthalates and Methylsilanols? FYI…the first one is a harmful chemical that makes plastic soft and flexible and the second one is a safe derivative of silicon and protects skin from free radicals among a host of other good-for-you functions. The thing is, they’re both in many cosmetic products and you can’t pronounce either one. But one is toxic (phthalates) and the other isn’t.

Here’s the reality; in the United States, the law does not require cosmetic products and ingredients to be approved by the FDA, making the beauty industry the wild, wild west. The Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act of 1938 hasn’t been changed since it was passed by Congress. That’s 82 years ago! To date, the U.S. only bans 30 harmful chemicals and ingredients from being formulated into products whereas the European Union bans around 1,400 and Canada bans approximately 600. Who knows what’s in your favorite face mask? Even though it may claim to tighten, refresh and smooth your skin, there’s no guarantee it will do any of those things. In fact, it may be doing more harm than good.

The Toxic side of beauty

Recent research findings have shown many toxic chemicals such as formaldehyde, triclosan, lead, mercury, toluene, hydroquinone, parabens and talc found in everyday products linked to disease and even death. This brings me to the documentary Toxic Beauty, which I had the privilege of helping promote to the media earlier this year.

Toxic Beauty takes a deep dive into the ingredient dangers lurking in personal care and cosmetics’ products, especially talc. Director Phyllis Ellis follows the class action lawsuit against Johnson & Johnson and the plaintiffs, specifically whistleblower Deane Berg, an American woman who turned down a $1.3 million settlement from J&J in order to take them to court and publicize the health risks of their talc-laden products.

Another plot line throughout the film is the story of how medical student and beauty product fanatic Mymy Nguyen treats herself like a guinea pig as she studies the chemical burden her body undergoes with all the products she uses on a daily basis.

I remember when I saw the film for the first time, just sitting there in the darkness of the theatre shaking my head back and forth and feeling sick to my stomach by the lack of transparency the behemoth corporation Johnson & Johnson has displayed throughout the years with their talc-laden baby powder, as endless women have lost their lives to ovarian cancer from using their products. Again, I knew talc wasn’t great, but even I (someone who has worked in this industry for almost half of my life) didn’t know to what extent. If this movie shook me, I could only imagine what it would do to all the women throughout the world who don’t have the faintest idea that their daily dosing of baby powder could end up killing them.

Quick fact: Talc is not just reserved for baby powder. Just about any personal care or cosmetic product that absorbs moisture can contain talc including deodorants, face powder, blush or eye shadow. Talc is also super cheap, which makes it even more attractive to formulators.

Just this past May, something incredible happened. A news story that had nothing to do with the pandemic came out, almost as if it were trying to slip through the cracks…”Johnson & Johnson is stopping the sale of talc-based baby powder in the U.S. and Canada”. Two weeks after that, Chanel, Revlon and L’oreal – three of the biggest brands in cosmetics – quietly move away from including talc in their products as well.

Being part of this movement and creating a push for change in this industry has been monumentally rewarding for me and I’m so grateful to be a part of it. However, in the Environmental Working Group Skin Deep database alone, there are still more than 2,000 products that contain talc out there for sale today. And Johnson & Johnson readily admit that they will continue to sell its products in other markets. They sell in over 175 countries, so do the math. There is still plenty of work to be done on this front.

Back to the trend of clean beauty – which itself has to be handled with scrutiny because again, anyone can claim they’re clean and not be -the rise of clean beauty brands has skyrocketed, with revenue slated to hit $22 billion by 2024.

The next time you need to stock up on shampoo, SPF, deodorant or you’re looking for a better mascara to try, visit the EWG’s Skin Deep website, which has vetted 1676 products with the EWG VERIFIED mark, deeming them free from chemicals of concern or download the ThinkDirty App, which allows you to scan products for toxicity level.

If this information makes you mad and you want to know how to push the need for change along, a couple things you can do right off the bat is write to congress and sign the Toss the Talc Petition.

Interested in checking out Toxic Beauty? It’s available on The Starz Network, or you can download it here for $4.99. You can use the discount code SOFE25 to receive 25% off.

My List of Clean & Travel Friendly beauty products

For those of you engaging in safe travel these days, I put together this round up for clean travel friendly beauty products worthy enough to take with you on your escapades!

Captain Blankenship Mermaid Dry Shampoo
Housed in a mini 2 oz. cardboard shaker, this talc-free dry shampoo absorbs oil and adds volume to unwashed hair ($14).

Rahua Hydration Shampoo and Conditioner (Travel Sizes)
This Amazon rainforest grown beauty hair brand houses their strand quenching shampoo and conditioner in perfectly portable 2 oz. bottles ($9 – $9.50).

C’est Moi Sunshine Mineral Sunscreen Face Stick SPF 50
Enjoy the sunshine without 98% of the harmful rays with this reef-friendly, non-nano zinc oxide SPF face stick. Formulated with hydrating skin soothing shea butter, this water resistant sunscreen miracle promises to leave no ghostly white cast ($10).

Beautycounter Countersun Mineral Sunscreen Mist SPF 30 Travel Size – 3 oz.
You gotta love a continuous mist sunscreen that’s clean and effective. This one provides physical block from UVA and UVB quickly and effortlessly without an oily residue ($20).

RMS Beauty Lip2Cheek
Multi-tasking beauty at its best and brightest, Rose-Marie Swift’s eponymous brand has been at the forefront of clean beauty since 2009. These lip & cheek stain formulations are available in 9 beautiful shades and come housed in mini pots to pop into any girl’s cosmetic case $36).

100% PURE Organic Cherry Lip Balm
Crafted with organic plant oils and herbs, this lip balm offers intense moisture with sunflower seed and coconut oils, creating a luxurious, soft finish. Vitamin E and calendula soothe chapped lips, while organic cherry flavor adds a sweet touch. ($8).

The Better Skin Co. Zit No More
Maskne sucks, but Zit No More can help. This zit zapping roller ball is formulated with a clear tree-oil/ salicylic acid wonder potion that attacks, banishes and soothes pimples on the go ($18).

Type: A Aluminum Free Deodorant
These cream to powder formulations have so many things going for them (they’re non-toxic, cruelty free, carbon neutral, and stain free), there’s no reason any traveler should suffer from B.O ($9.99).

Rosebud Ritual Travel Kit
Made with impeccable plant-derived ingredients, these intimate wellness products are a welcome addition to any wanderluster’s travel bag. This set comes with the brand’s four signature items; Cleansing Wipes, Calming Cream, Stimulating Serum and Everyday Balm ($28).

Kellerworks Elliott’s Herbal Salve
Got a bug bite, scratch, rash or dry patch? Welcome to your new best friend. Made with beeswax, grapeseed and coconut oil, shea, zinc, lavender, peppermint and tea tree oil, there’s nothing this uber clean salve can’t solve ($8).

About the author

Robin Tolkan-Doyle

Robin Tolkan-Doyle runs the boutique agency Charmed PR in Los Angeles, CA and recently created the site Beautyologie, a platform to highlight how we all find and create beauty in life.

Traveling Deaf and Fearless

“I tear down preconceived misconceptions that people with disabilities ‘cannot’. This concept drives me to show the world that the only thing a deaf person cannot do is hear.”

Meet Chelsea Lew, a 30-something American who is a force of solo travel inspiration. Its not because she happens to be deaf (although that makes her and her story even more amazing), she travels with a bravery and a resourcefulness that define the solo female traveler spirit.

This interview is part of her story.

Give us a sense of how much you travel in your life.

How does a nomad answer this question? Let me put it this way. My mom texted me recently and said she was going through her phone and trying to delete information that was not relevant. She counted 43 residences/addresses for me since I graduated college in 2009. This doesn’t include where I was living/staying when abroad.

I’m Jewish, so when we turn 12/13, we celebrate becoming adults. Most people have big parties, almost like a wedding. My dad asked me, do you want a party or do you want to go to Africa. Um, forget the party, let’s get my passport ready!

When was your first solo trip? Where did you go and what were some challenges and amazing moments?

I guess my first “adult” solo trip where I didn’t fly with anyone I knew or to meet up with anyone I knew would be to Portugal in 2009. Amazing moments included exploring on MY itinerary and at MY pace, whenever and wherever I wanted and eating unlimited pastries without judgement.

Remember my comment about preconceived notions? Even though I’m deaf, I’m actually proficient in Spanish. In college, a second language proficiency is required to graduate, and my advisor said I can waive it because of my disability. I said NO, I want to go through the same experience everyone else did, so I continued my studies from high school in Spanish. Even though they speak Portuguese in Portugal, having some experience with reading lips in a foreign language helped me so much to communicate with the locals. It was a challenge, because I already struggle reading lips in English, now try reading lips in a foreign language, with an accent!

I also couldn’t hear the bus or train announcements. Not all transportation systems have LED screens for you to read where you are and where you are going. I definitely got lost often and made a lot of mistakes. It’s also a challenge not coming across as being rude. If someone is behind me and says ‘excuse me,’ obviously it’s going to look like I’m standing my ground. I just got to ignore it and keep smiling.

For most people, going to a country where they don’t speak the language is intimidating. Do you feel you have any extra challenges communicating when traveling?

I thrive on challenges, I’m fluent in ASL and I love charades. I got this! Communication doesn’t always have to be verbal. There are so many ways to express yourself, your needs and your goals. The language barrier doesn’t affect me. Instead it’s my FOMO due to my extroverted nature that I feel held back. it’s the inability to eavesdrop and jump in on conversations especially at hostels or during group activities.

When someone hearing is with me and understands my situation, they help fill in the gaps so I can be part of conversations, but when I’m by myself I have to be extra and random to draw attention and approach people. I like to think that being deaf actually gives me the advantage over hearing people when traveling. I’m already so comfortable letting people know “hey, repeat that please” or “I don’t understand”. I’ve noticed many hearing people are scared to speak up about this and leave confused. I’m also comfortable pulling out my phone or pen and paper to write things down, I’m comfortable holding up lines until all my needs are fulfilled, I’m already super patient and I’m more visually aware to catch on small things others can’t. I can ALWAYS find Waldo.

Being deaf while traveling also has its perks. Admission to many places are free (everywhere in Japan) and I’m allowed to cut the line. Hello no ticket needed for the Louve. Walked right in despite the 3 hour wait.

Does being deaf impact your travel choices?

That’s a flat out no.

I travel to music concerts even though I’m deaf, I go scuba diving even though there is risk for the implant after a certain number of feet, I climb and rapel mountains and canyons even though I can’t hear or see my belay partner, I rent/drive cars even if I can’t hear them honking at me.

I mentioned the issue with public transport and lack of hearing announcements. This is really my biggest deaf challenge all in all. I’ve missed so many flights, buses, trains over the years because of this, but I’ve learned to adapt as I go. My second biggest challenge doesn’t impact my travel choices but it’s made me aware of a limitation that I will always have; navigating through and driving scooters. I’m also trying my hardest not to die when I cross streets.

What are your future travel plans?

I’ve just built out my Toyota Rav4 into a camper car, and I’ll be leaving this month on a socially distanced, solo road trip around the country! I really like to wing things so I will start with Colorado and Utah and work my way up, around and about. Depending how the borders open up, I would love to continue exploring the world again. I work remotely full time for a deaf non-profit and am allowed to work anywhere in the world, so I’m truly grateful to have the capability to be the master of my own adventures in life.

What message would you like to pass on to our community?

Direct your energy to those that want to be part of the solution.

This might seem way off point, but I say this because life is a struggle. Life as a woman is a struggle. Life as a woman who is part of a minority group (whether it’s your religion or disability or race or sexual preference) is a struggle. Life as a SOLO woman when everyone is questioning your intentions, reasons, capabilities is a struggle. Don’t let who you are and what you want hold you back. Don’t accept “you can’t” or “you’ll fail”. Surround yourself by people who say “you can” and “you will”. Don’t doubt yourselves and you can achieve anything you want. Ask me how I will support you, and I only ask of you to reciprocate that sense of respect.

Follow Chelsea’s journey:

From Small Town Girl to Traveling US Navy Officer

I’m from an incredibly small town in Mississippi, USA, and for most of my life I rarely even left the East Coast, let alone out of the country. I spent my days with the same people in my tiny town and didn’t have much exposure to different cultures or world views. The people around me were comfortable sticking to their hometown and took comfort in sticking close to home, almost defining themselves with the set values and beliefs that were rarely challenged.

The rigidity in this small town ideation always bothered me. I knew there was more out there, and I wanted – no needed – to experience it. I left home at the age of 17 to start college at The United States Naval Academy. Even after 4 years of study there, I had yet to even go West of the Mississippi River. At 21, I finally got to leave the East Coast! I traveled west with the military and had my first assignment on the beautiful island of Oahu, Hawaii. I spent two years there. While the island is still considered the United States, the immediate change in lifestyle, culture, and scenery immediately made me yearn for more. I had never known such beauty to be in existence and I was floored at the magnificence.

Shortly after I arrived in Hawaii, the military deployed me on a ship to the Pacific Ocean, Indian Ocean, Persian Gulf, and Red Sea. Military ships are able to pull into ports sometimes in order to give the crew some rest while building international relations with the host country. This was the first time I had truly left the United States. I was able to visit Singapore, Bahrain, Israel, and Thailand during my seven-month deployment at sea.

This was just the beginning for me.

The country that changed my view of the world forever was Israel. You could say it was because it was the first country further out of my comfort zone. Maybe it was the magic of the city, but Jerusalem opened my eyes, my heart, and my mind.

I was heading towards the Wailing Wall when all of the sudden I heard the Muslim call to prayer happening over the whole city. All of the sudden, in one swift moment, people were emerging from everywhere. Before I knew it, I was completely engulfed in a sea of Muslims making their way to the Mosque. It was so peaceful. They followed the call and I watched as hundreds of worshippers passed by me.

Once we got to the Wailing Wall, there were hundreds of Jews held their hands up to the wall and prayed. Rows deep, some would sit holding the Torah awaiting their turn at the wall and once they reached the front they slipped their hand-written prayer into the cracks between the centuries old stones.

I just watched all of these people, wearing different clothing, muttering different prayers, and living a totally different life than anything I had ever experienced. It was magnificent to me. Eye opening. An epiphany. Within moments of each other, I had been completely immersed into two of the world’s major religions. Every stereotype and preconceived notion I had conjured up over the years disappeared.

Fast forward four years later, the Navy offered me a job in Spain for two years and I couldn’t pass it up. My current job primarily deals with building international relations in a maritime setting around Europe and Africa. I’ve been so fortunate to travel with my job and help encourage and build everlasting relations amongst militaries in the surrounding area. While stationed in Europe, I have visited 27 countries in 18 months. I’ve delved into cultures I didn’t quite know existed anymore. My ignorance has diminished, and my mind has expanded. I’ve eaten delicious food all across the continent but the best part- I’ve met incredible and amazing people and travelers who yearn to see the world and who have taught me a thing or two along the way.

This fall, I will start a new job in the Navy as I become a Public Affairs Officer stationed in San Diego, California. There I will be working in journalism and photography for the Navy. My road to seeing the world is far from over.

I’ve been so fortunate to be in an occupation that both allows and supports my travels. However you are able to travel, my wish for you future travelers out there is to have at least one moment that leaves you awed, humbled, and inspired. Mine was in Jerusalem…where will yours be?

See more of Teresa’s travel on Instagram.

The Many Cups of Vietnamese Coffee

From the introduction of the first coffee plant to Vietnam by the French in 1857, coffee production grew steadily, all through numerous wars to today. A century and a half later, Vietnam is now the 2nd largest coffee producer in the world, after Brazil.

The coffee culture in Vietnam is incredible. While we generally think of coffee as a morning affair, with the aim of waking our brains up for a busy day at work or enjoying a Sunday morning in bed, to the Vietnamese, coffee is more of a very casual, almost have-it-at-any-time-of-the-day thing.

Small coffee shops, each with its own unique style, and simple vendor carts dot every sidewalk and every corner. Plastic child-sized stools and low tables spill out onto the sidewalks, with people wearing casual outfits to suits and ties, socializing over a cup. Either that or they are alone, watching the busy traffic pass by. It’s a strange, yet interesting sight.

Robusta vs. Arabica

The vast majority of the beans grown in Vietnam are Robusta beans. These are more bitter than the globally popular Arabica beans, which says a lot about what you can expect from a good cup of Vietnamese coffee. Robusta beans grow at lower altitudes, have higher yields, hold less acidity, have a higher caffeine content, and are two times as strong as Arabica coffee, yet less expensive. Vietnam is also the world’s largest Robusta producer and exporter, accounting for 40% of the world’s Robusta coffee.

the different ways to drink Vietnamese coffee

Ca Phe Den

If you like your coffee strong and bold, order yourself a ca phe den. Here, the word ‘den’ means black and I assume you can figure out what ‘ca phe’ means. So this is a simple black coffee without any sweetener or milk.

To make a ca phe den, the Vietnamese use what is called a phin filter. A phin filter is enough to make a standard cup of coffee and is generally made of stainless steel or aluminium. It comes in 4 pieces: the filter cup, the base, the filter press and the lid.

You place the lid-less apparatus over your glass, add ground coffee into the filter cup and press over it with the filter press. The bottom of the cup and the base have holes, through which the coffee drips out as warm water is added. The lid is placed on top to keep the heat.

The whole process may take some time, but you are guaranteed a perfect cup of hot coffee, especially if you use an aluminium phin because they hold in the heat better and help you brew a more balanced cup. If you use a glass instead of a mug, you can watch as the brewing take place. It is definitely more interesting than watching paint dry.

After the brewing is done, add some ice to this and it becomes ca phe den da. Da means cold. Black coffee with ice is especially loved in Vietnam because of the hot tropical climate. If you want to make absolute sure you’re ordering a hot black coffee, then say ca phe den nong.

Ca Phe Sua Da

This is my absolute favorite. This is black coffee sweetened with condensed milk (sua). It is made in the exact same way that a ca phe den is, except the glass already has a layer of sweetened condensed milk in it. Once the brewing is complete, ice is added. If you want this without ice, simply ask for a ca phe sua or ca phe sua nong. Adding in some condensed milk really balances out the strong and bitter robusta coffee.

Why condensed milk you must be wondering and why not fresh milk? During war times, there was not only a lack of fresh milk, but it was also difficult to store fresh milk for many without a fridge or electricity. This resulted in the use of canned condensed milk which you can store for much longer in dry room temperatures.

If you want the milk to coffee ratio to be a bit higher, or some extra fresh milk in it, ask for a bac xiu. I warn you though, this is extremely sweet. Both of these are the perfect refreshment on a hot and humid day.

Ca Phe Trung

Now things get weird. This is a cup of coffee with an egg (trung) cracked into it. When I first heard about it, I really thought it was a prank because all my friends know I am extremely gullible and fall for anything. But no, this really is a cup of Vietnamese drip coffee with a layer of whipped chicken egg yolk along with condensed milk and sugar on the top. The creamy texture is best described as liquid tiramisu. Let that digest while I explain more.

Story goes that egg coffee was invented in 1946 by Nguyen Giang who is the founder of the famous Cafe Giang located at 39 Nguyen Huu Huan in Hanoi. When he came up with it, he had no idea it would become a thing, as he simply just whisked in an egg into a cup of coffee because he ran out of milk. When the blender came about, the recipe got popular.

To make this, first drip coffee is made. Then, an egg yolk, some condensed milk and a spoonful of that coffee is poured into a bowl and whisked rigorously until it becomes frothy. This layer of froth is then poured over the traditional black coffee. When you are ready to drink, make sure you use a spoon to mix the creamy top layer of froth into the dark and bold coffee that lies underneath. Or else it might taste a bit…eggy. You will find your egg coffee served with a flame underneath or sitting in a bowl of hot water to keep the temperature and texture.

Ca Phe Dua

Dua means coconut. To make a delicious cup of ca phe dua, you simply mix drip coffee with a little bit of condensed milk and coconut milk (or coconut yogurt). To this, a lot of ice is added. It may sound sweet, yet it is quite a strong drink. If you come across a Cong Ca Phe during your time in Vietnam, make sure to try this out as it is their signature drink.

Sinh To Ca Phe

Now we add in some fruit. Sinh to means smoothie and you will come across many smoothie stalls and shops as you walk around Hanoi or Ho Chi Minh City. You can point your way through the various fruits you want in your sinh to ca phe such as banana, avocado, dragonfruit, mango and more. Mix your choice with black vietnamese coffee and you have this strange drink.

Ca Phe Sua Chua

By now you should be accustomed to hearing about weird ingredients being added to a simple cup of coffee. Ca phe sua chua is another unique drink where creamy yogurt blends divinely with black coffee to form a delicious concoction. The yogurts tanginess really accentuates the bitterness of the coffee, making it a rollercoaster of flavors in your mouth.

Ca Phe Muoi

Simply add a spoonful of salt to your ca phe sua da and it becomes a ca phe muoi. The salt brings out the smokier flavors in the coffee, and balances out the sweetness of the condensed milk. I’m not sure how I feel about this one though.

Ca Phe Chon

This is a little controversial. This is one of the most expensive coffees in the world and you can only find it in a few countries: Indonesia, East Timor, the Philippines and of course, Vietnam. So what is it?

Ca phe chon is weasel coffee. Essentially weasels are fed coffee berries, digesting the flesh, and excreting the pips. They are then washed and processed carefully, and then sold worldwide as a luxury item. It may cost around $500 USD per 1kg.

The controversy here is because of how these weasels can be raised. Many are kept in very poor conditions and force fed coffee berries without a proper balanced diet. There is a high mortality rate and this practice also poses a conservation risk. Many animal welfare groups are making it a priority to act against this practice.

While it’s great to be open to trying new things, you should also be mindful about how certain things come to be and if any animal or human being is harmed in the process. Do your best to travel ethically.

Is Instagram Harming our Travel Experiences?

We’ve all been there. No really we have. You swipe and you swipe and you swipe again. And it’s all pretty similar; all an array of the same place, filtered, secluded, individual, idyllic. You wanted to go. And who wouldn’t? Instagram is filled with travel stories.

The platform is now a huge factor in the travel industry. Instagram has over one billion users and 40% of those under 33 consider “Instagramabilty a factor when travelling. In fact one small village in New Zealand saw a 14% increase in tourism after wooing Instagram travel influencers (the highest the country has seen). And on the surface of it, this shouldn’t be that troubling. As a visual storytelling platform, it makes entire sense that it would be hugely popular as a means of communicating and inspiring travel. But there are problems within the Instagram travel boom.

Instagram is a huge contributor to over-tourism.

Destinations like Barcelona and Venice have a long standing record of being harmed by over-tourism; pushing up rent prices and generally making these cities less habitable and harder and more expensive to live in. In 2010 800 people visited Norway’s Trolltunga “Troll’s Tongue” viewpoint. But 80,000 people visited in 2016, in part due to Instagram; whilst the Greek island of Santorini has had to cap the number of day visitors in recent years due to a major increase of tourists. Similarly, the Philippines Boracay Island had to close in 2018 for restoration due to the influx of Instagram, selfie snapping tourists that the area simply wasn’t equipped for. Over tourism results in negative effects both in the short term- such as littering and environmental damage- and longer term, including impacting on rent prices and sustainability. Instagram tourists throw up other problems too with tales of individuals dying to get selfies and controversy surrounding taking distasteful photos in sensitive locations such as Chernobyl or Auschwitz, promoting accusations of “disaster tourism”. The site has also spawned a whole market tailored to it with cafes and hotels created specifically as Instagramablle destinations.

Is there any problem with Instagram and travel, if you operate in a considerate way?

One of the major criticisms that gets levelled at Instagram travel influencers and tourists is that they depict places in an unrealistic fashion. The site is awash with photos of significant landmarks like the Trevi Fountain or the Taj Mahal depicted in near or complete isolation. And whilst that’s beautiful and makes for a tremendous shot; it simply isn’t the case most of the time or for most of us. As someone who’s seen their fair share of beautiful tourist landmarks; I can hardly think of one where I wasn’t largely surrounded by at least a medium crowd. The times where I’ve been able to see them in a more secluded fashion have generally involved getting up incredibly early or (more likely) having stayed up all night. Which is certainly part of the Instagram Travel Influencer game; stories of getting up at 5am to grab that perfect picture, or alternatively deferring to photoshop to edit the images. Consequently, there is potential to be disappointed when you find yourself at such a place and aren’t quite able to grab the perfect moment of self reflection.

This reflects many of the major problems of the platform more broadly. It’s a place where people go to share a heavily manicured version of their lives. Everything on Instagram is edited, heightened to look that bit better. Honesty isn’t its greatest currency. The impact of this is well documented with affiliations to low self esteem, body image and mental health. We only ever show an aspiration, an edited highlight on there. You’re unlikely to see a photo of an exhaustingly long queue in immigration (without air con) or someone sad and lonely at 2am in a hotel room.

And this is the crux of the problem with Instagram’s version of travel; it re-iterates the idea that travel should be perfect and an entirely positive experience.

It feeds into a narrative that travel is an inherently informative, personally formative experience, where wonder, beauty and personal fulfilment is just the turn of a corner or a snapshot away. And nowhere is this more true than in regard to travelling alone; an experience we revere and fetishise.

There’s good reason why we do that. Travel- and particularly solo travel- is a significant experience. But it isn’t all perfection. There are times when it’s scary, boring even and- dare I say it- lonely. That’s not to say it isn’t a positive thing. But it’s entirely possible to have a wonderful travel experience that also includes some pretty low and hard moments. I’ve had solo travel experiences where I’ve got off the plane at the end utterly thrilled I went alone and wouldn’t have changed that for the world and ones where I was definitely glad to be back in what was familiar.

What is exciting about travel isn’t reducible to a photo (and certainly not if you edit it).

It’s about hordes of people, of unfamiliar sites and sounds, of being in somewhere entirely new. Travel isn’t about perfection. It’s about difference or challenge. A lot of my favourite solo travel moments have been far from perfect (and not in the least bit Instagram worthy)- the time I stranded myself in the Sicilian country side on a Sunday and spent hours sat in a random cab office waiting for a taxi back to the city speaking a mix of English and my bad Italian to the man who ran it; the time I went to the Atacama desert to see the stars but didn’t check the lunar calendar so there were no star tours. So I walked alone into the sand dunes at night to find, they were right. You couldn’t see the stars.

Neither of these would work on Instagram. But they do work as a story. Is that what travel is about? Maybe. Or then again, maybe not. It might be about seeing something particular; or running away from something particular or perhaps just about having a few picture perfect days alone. Travel isn’t about just one thing. And it’s not necessarily about grabbing the perfect picture of that. It’s entirely down to you. Whether it’s geotagged or not.

Umoja: The Samburu’s Women Only Village

Umoja is a village located in northern Kenya, close to Archer’s Post. What is so special about it? Its inhabitants. Indeed, this community was created by women, for women only.

In practice, that means only women and children are allowed to live in Umoja. Men are banned from entering the community. Actually, traditions remain strong in the area, and with it, patriarchy and gender based violence (GBV). But where you can find patriarchy, you often find resistance. This is what Umoja – which means Unity in Swahili – is all about.

This village was created 30 years ago by Rebecca Lolosoli, a local Samburu woman from the Rift Valley, along with 14 survivors of GBV and promotes sisterhood above all else. Today, it shelters about 50 women and 200 children, all survivors.

A dire situation for women in the Samburu region

You might think that completely cutting men out of your life might be a little extreme. But the women of Umoja felt like it was the only way to be safe and free.

Gender based violence is extremely prevalent in the area (even more so compared to the rest of Kenya). Early marriages and female genital mutilations (FGM) are a very common occurrence for Samburu women, as well as rape. Rape victims often refuse to speak up because they face retributions for bringing “shame” to their community.

That was the case of Jane, 38, current resident of Umoja. She recalls: “I felt so ashamed and could not talk about it. I eventually told my husband’s mother. When she told my husband, he beat me with a cane. So I disappeared and came here with my children.”

It is very difficult for them to seek change, as they are usually not allowed to participate in the decision making process. Without any kind of leadership, it is very challenging to introduce cultural change. According to Naguei, one of the founders of the village, “In Samburu culture, we say that women are the neck and men are the head.”

Even if women are brave enough to stand up for themselves, speaking up can be very dangerous, as Rebecca Lolosoli would tell you. When she spoke up in favor of the women in her community, she was brutally beaten by some men in her village. “I started talking about helping rape victims and the next time my husband left on business, the men beat me severely. I left the hospital and my parents said I should rejoin my husband. He said nothing about what the men had done, so I realized I could be killed, so I left.”

The creation of Umoja

Lolosoli faced a brutal refusal to address women’s issues in her community. Facing danger herself, she opted for a more radical solution: secession!

She gathered 14 women who had been victims of GBV and created Umoja. In the past, all of these women had been ostracized by their community because of what they had suffered. But led by Lolosoli, they refused to simply accept their fate. The government gave them an abandoned land, and their new journey began: they built a haven for women in need of protection.

Residents of Umoja are victims of rape, forced early marriage, FGM, or domestic abuse. Like Memusi: “I was traded for cows by my father when I was 11 years old, my husband was 57.”

If the stories of the women of Umoja can be very hard to stomach, their lives and their journey now, is truly inspiring and a cause for hope.

In Umoja, women feel safe and can rely on each other to live. In other words, they gave to patriarchy the best possible answer: sisterhood! Like Judia: “Every day I wake up and smile because I am surrounded by help and support.” Or Rosalna: “If I had not come here, I don’t know what my life would be. I probably would have undergone female genital mutilation and gotten married off as a second or third wife to an older man. These women raised me, allowed me to have an education and defied all those traditions.“

As you can see, this village is not just a safe place for women, it is basically a revolution.

How do things work in Umoja?

The women of Umoja earn their income with tourism. They are managing a campsite close to the village where tourists can stay overnight. If they wish to visit the village, they have to pay a small fee. Once in Umoja, tourists can buy traditional beaded jewelry created by women.

All the money earned by these women is then pooled, and redistributed equally by Rebecca Lolosoli, according to the size of each household. The extra money is then used to pay for the needs of the community: education for the children, emergency fund, etc.

But that’s not it! Those unstoppable women also have advocacy programs for girls of surrounding villages. They go to neighboring communities and inform women and girls about their rights regarding early marriage or FGM.

Are women really safe in Umoja?

Of course, such powerful women, managing to live on their own, are not to everyone’s liking and not always safe. Men of the surrounding communities are not all on board. In fact, Rebecca Lolosoli often receives threats because of her activities.

But it will take more to deter these women. “I have no regrets for what I have done. In fact, I am proud that I contributed towards betterment of other people’s lives. I will march on until men recognize and respect the human being called woman and her role in society,” says Rebecca.

In order to protect the women of Umoja, fences surround the village. But it is not rare for men to try to enter. However, as soon as one is spotted, women call the local police to have him removed.

So you might wonder, are male tourists allowed in? Yes! According to Rebecca Lolosoli, “Men are forbidden to live in the village, but may visit as long as they behave and abide by the women’s rules.”

If only women are allowed to live in the village, how come there are so many children born in Umoja? Women are allowed to maintain relationships with men outside of the village. According to Lelumbe, “If I want a baby, I can go out to get one.” Simple, right?

Is Umoja the only village of this kind?

The idea behind Umoja has been emulated, and nowadays, there are a few women-only villages in the area. Indeed, not all women are completely in tune with Rebecca Lolosoli’s vision.

Most of those villages have been created by former residents of Umoja, who wanted a safe place for women, but with different rules. It is for example the case of Nang’ida (which means happiness), where men are allowed, only if they abide by women’s rules. That means, for example, that the chores are chosen freely, and not according to gender.

This idea seems to be spreading in the area, where women are choosing the rules they want to live by.

If you are a female solo traveler, you probably have dreamt about this kind of place. A place created by women for women, ruled by sisterhood. If some view this solution as extreme, or even unhelpful in terms of cultural change, we have to view it as the women in Umoja do: a necessity.

Traumatized women can come to Umoja to seek shelter, even if just for a while, to rebuild, rehabilitate, and simply keep on living surrounded by sisters. Refusing to mix with the other sex is not a luxury for Samburu women, it is considered the only way to truly be free. As long as gender based violence is alive and well (and it surely is in the area), then women will have to find a way to protect themselves, even if it means isolating from men.

FAQs: Umoja – The Samburu Women’s Only Village

1. What is Umoja Village?

Umoja is a women-only village in Samburu County, Kenya, founded in 1990 as a safe haven for women escaping domestic violence, forced marriages, female genital mutilation (FGM), and other forms of oppression. It is a unique community that empowers women through economic independence and cultural preservation.

2. Why was Umoja established as a women-only village?

The village was founded to provide refuge and support for women who faced abuse, gender-based violence, and other harmful practices. It creates a space where women can live freely, support one another, and build a sustainable livelihood without male dominance.

3. Can men visit Umoja Village?

While men are not allowed to live in Umoja, they are welcome to visit as tourists. This helps the women generate income through tourism, as visitors can learn about Samburu culture, purchase handmade crafts, and tour the village.

4. How do the women of Umoja sustain themselves?

The women of Umoja rely on income generated through eco-tourism, selling traditional Samburu beadwork, and conducting cultural tours for visitors. These activities enable them to maintain their independence and provide for their families.

5. What is life like for the women and children in Umoja?

Life in Umoja is centered around communal living, where women work together to support each other. Children receive education, and the women actively pass down Samburu traditions and skills to the next generation.

6. How can I visit Umoja Village?

You can visit Umoja by traveling to Samburu County, Kenya. Many local tour operators offer trips to the village as part of cultural and wildlife tours in the region. It’s recommended to book with a reputable operator to ensure a respectful and enriching visit.

7. What can I expect during a visit to Umoja?

Visitors can participate in cultural activities, learn about Samburu traditions, interact with the women of Umoja, and purchase unique, handcrafted beadwork. A guided tour often includes storytelling about the village’s history and its role in empowering women.

8. Can I support Umoja without visiting?

Yes, you can support Umoja by purchasing their handcrafted beadwork online through trusted platforms, spreading awareness about the village, or donating to organizations that work with the community.

9. Is Umoja the only women-only village in Kenya?

Umoja is one of the most well-known women-only villages in Kenya, but similar initiatives exist in other parts of the country, inspired by its success. Umoja remains a symbol of resilience and empowerment for women in Samburu and beyond.

10. Why is Umoja significant for gender equality?

Umoja serves as a powerful example of how women can overcome systemic oppression and create a self-sufficient, supportive community. It highlights the importance of economic empowerment and education in advancing gender equality in traditionally patriarchal societies.

EXPLORE AFRICA WITH US!

Here’s the thing: once you’ve watched the sun rise over the Serengeti or locked eyes with a silverback in the misty hills of Uganda, “normal life” never quite feels the same again.

Our Africa trips aren’t about ticking off the Big Five — they’re about laughing with new friends over campfire wine, trading stories with Maasai women, and realizing that maybe the best kind of luxury is being completely unplugged (except for your camera roll).

Come see Uganda, Tanzania, and Kenya the SoFe way — wild, grounded, and absolutely unforgettable.

Bucket List Ideas for Vegetarians

Contrary to popular belief, the world is a vegetarian’s oyster. It’s not difficult to find delicious plant-based yummies while you hop from one country to the other. Here is a list of our favorites, and trust us when we say you don’t have to be a vegetarian to enjoy them!

Idiyappam: Sri Lanka

Idiyappam (string hoppers in English) are a breakfast favorite in Sri Lanka, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t eaten during any other time of the day. A string hopper looks a bit like a flat, round nest of thin spaghetti, each the size of your palm. To make them, white roasted rice flour is mixed with water and a bit of salt to make a dough and then pushed through a sieve or idiyappam press to make the strands. The little matted nests are then stacked inside a steamer, soon to be served. Simple.

String hoppers are generally eaten with pol sambol (a delicious mixture of grated coconut meat, chili powder, and lime.) Extra add-ons to your meal can be dahl, potato curry, or sweetened coconut milk. Remember to eat with your hands for the full experience!

Druze pita: Lebanon

This delectable, sort of Middle Eastern wrap, is a contribution to street food in Syria, Lebanon, Israel, and Jordan by a small Arab-speaking community called the Druze. Meat is only served during special occasions, meaning their cuisine is generally ideal for vegetarians.

Walk through an outdoor market and you will come across a small establishment with a woman in a head scarf sitting behind a convex dome-looking griddle. She will be turning out super thin, platter-sized rounds of whole-wheat flatbreads called laffa (Druze pita). On this, she will smear a layer of labneh (Greek yoghurt), along with olive oil, za’atar (a blend of dried herbs), chopped parsley, diced tomatoes, hot sauce and red pepper puree. Then she folds the whole thing into a very edible and mouth-watering open-topped wrap.

Jian Bing: China

A favorite and very popular breakfast among Chinese, especially Beijingers, Jian Bing are large wheat and grain-based crepes, lathered with 2 or 3 savoury/spicy sauces and folded around an egg, green onions, and a piece of deep fred cracker known as Bao Cui.

These giant crepes get folded into an envelope shape and wrapped around with paper, so it’s easy to grab one to go on the way to work or school, or on your way home at 4:00 AM after a rough night of clubbing. Yeah, you’ll still find the carts around. The vendors know you crave it.

Baklava: Turkey

The history of baklava is a little hazy and while everyone from the Greeks to the Turks and Armenians claim that they were the first to make it (it’s that delicious!), the credit, it seems, must go to the Assyrians of Mesopotamia (a region made of modern-day Iraq, Syria, Iran and Turkey). Baklava first came to be around the 8th century BC and since then, many cultures and regions of the world have their own special versions, including the Labanese, Greeks, Iranians, Hungarians and others.

Baklava is a rich, sweet, and flaky pastry made of layers of phyllo dough filled with chopped nuts, most common being pistachios. Almonds, pine nuts, and walnuts get thrown in there too, depending on the variation of the recipe. The pastry is then sweetened with syrup made of honey, lemon, and cinnamon. These make for a great dessert after a hearty meal.

Pannkakor: Sweden

Swedish pancakes may look a whole lot like French crêpes, but they are different. Thin, eggy, and just the right amount of sweet, you can top it with absolutely anything, from brown sugar, to berries, whipped cream, jam and maple syrup. Compared to French crêpes, Swedish pancakes are lighter and fluffier as the batter has a higher milk, butter, and egg to flour ratio.

There’s also nothing wrong with eating these for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, if you ask us. And the best part is that you don’t need to go to Sweden for them – just drive by to the nearest Ikea and get yourself a frozen pack. While they’re not as good as fresh ones, they’re still delicious!

Vegetarian thali: India

A thali is the perfect assortment of delicious Indian favorites on a single platter. The different regions of India have their own unique take on this dish, as will each different restaurant that will have their own variety of dishes for you to choose from.

Thali’s don’t have to be vegetarian but you can opt for only vegetarian dishes on yours. You will get a bit of everything, from appetizers to mains, and even dessert. Your dishes on the thali can include dahl curry, aloo gobi (potato), brinjal, papadam, mango pickle and chutney along with rice and naan, chapati, or paratha. Mix it all together, it’s really a wholesome experience.

Saka Saka: Congo

Saka saka (or pondu) is found in both the Republic of Congo and the Democratic Republic of Congo. It is a dish made of ground cassava leaves, mixed with palm oil or pam butter, onions, garlic, peppers, and okra. You can even add in peanuts, peanut butter, or other greens such as spinach.

Everything is ground together to form some kind of paste with a thick consistency and comes served with rice, bread, fried plantain or boiled yam. Simple, but a roller coaster of flavors in your mouth.

We hope that you get the chance to try every single one of these dishes during your travels around the world as they are loved by our community. Let us know if you have more suggestions to add to this list, as we would love to try them out ourselves!

Quiz: How Adventurous Are You?

Quiz time: Adventure

You may think you are a dare devil or have decided serious adventure is just not for you, but how do you really compare? We’ve put together some of our all time favorite adrenaline inducing activities to see how much of a thrill seeker you are.

[tqb_quiz id='12135']

Quiz: How adventurous a foodie are you?

Quiz time: food

How do you compare to other solo female travelers when it comes to trying new food? While local cuisine is one of the best ways to immerse in local culture, some delicacies can throw you right out of your comfort zone! You may think you’re a true foodie, but let’s see how far you’ll really go when it comes to trying new food. This quiz will not only tell you how you stack up compared to other travelers, but it also may teach you about some regional meals you didn’t know existed!

[tqb_quiz id='12089']

5 Female Focused Cultural Experiences

We women are extraordinary, in body, brain and soul. And as women who travel we get to explore ourselves in many wonderful ways. Here are some unique experiences and festivals from around the world to celebrate our female form and function. From experiencing sexual pleasure to praying for childbirth and honouring menstruation – here’s to us!

Yoni Massage in India

Have you ever had your lady parts massaged by someone else? No, we don’t mean from a partner. Yoni massage stems from India and is a form of intimate massage. What this means – in the simplest of terms – is relaxation and pleasure derived from intimate touch and erotic massage. Aficionados would continue to tell you that Yoni massage stems back centuries in Hindu and Buddhist practices, and that taking part in it will help you connect with your vagina sexually, yes, but also emotionally and spiritually. Yoni massage is as much about exploring your own stimulants and pleasure as it is the final climax; something achieved as you learn techniques for breathing and techniques to – well – pleasure your yoni.

And yes, yoni does mean vagina in Hindi and Sanskrit. Don’t say we never teach you anything.

VAGINAL STEAMING IN SOUTHEAST ASIA

Speaking of your yoni, have you tried vaginal steaming? It’s a fairly common spa technique across Southeast Asia and is (almost) as simple as the name suggests – steam is directed onto and up your female parts. We say, ‘almost’ because based on stories from those who have participated in this ancient ritual, any preconceptions of personal privacy must be left at the door as you strip naked from the waist down and sit on a chair with a ‘steaming potty’ underneath it. The steam may come from water alone, or it may be herbally-infused. Common herbs used in vaginal steaming are lavender for relaxation, rose petals for toning, and mugwort to ease cramps. If you’re not sure whether it’s for you, we spoke to someone who’s actually tried it, to find out what it really feels like. She said; ‘while the experience was incredibly intimate, it also felt strangely natural. It was refreshing and calming and left me with a feeling of having been completely cleansed – it’s not dissimilar to the feeling of a facial steam!’

FESTIVAL OF MENSTRUATION IN NORTHEAST INDIA

Every June the ‘bleeding goddess’ of Hinduism sees hundreds of thousands of people visit her temple in the Northeast Indian state, Assam. Otherwise known as Kamakhya, she is a tantric goddess who is believed to menstruate once a year, during which pilgrims from all over India celebrate with a 3-day festival, the Ambubachi Mela. Menstruation is commonly viewed as taboo within India and as such regulations are often asserted on women during this time; no cooking, no sex and no entering temples, for example. The Ambubachi Mela – while progressive in its acceptance of female bodily functions – ultimately follows course as the Kamakhya Temple closes for 3 days while the goddess is ‘cleansed’. Visit to tune your mind into your body, and to join thousands of others in praying for fertility.

Vipassana Meditation in Myanmar

Can you wake up at 4AM and stay silent for 10 days in a row? Welcome to Vipassana meditation. This ancient-Indian practice was reintroduced to the world in its current form via Buddhist Monks in Myanmar, and today there are active centres throughout both countries. While not strictly aimed at females (men can take part too) the meditation sessions are always segregated into gender. The belief behind the silent meditation is ‘anichya’, or ‘all things are temporary’ and, as the CEO of Twitter found out, that means that even if you’re being bitten by mosquitos you must let them do their thing, until they decide to move on. But – we hear you exclaim – no speaking for 10 days? It’s telling that most participants don’t cite this as the hardest part. Instead, as one Vipassana-goer told us, “it’s the resulting action of having to really get to know yourself; the good, the bad, and the ugly”.

If it’s good enough for the Twitter CEO, it might be good enough for you too. But remember that gender-segregation? Don’t expect to meet him there.

RED TENT GATHERING

Red Tent Gatherings bring women together to explore femininity in all its varied forms; emotional, sexual, psychological, hormonal, and more. Gatherings take place at the time of the new moon, a time at which it is believed women’s menstruation cycles should – in a world undisturbed by modern conveniences and technology – also begin. Originating in Native American culture, the aim is to provide a safe space for women to rest, relax, revive, share stories and empower one another. Today, Red Tent Gatherings have become a global movement and events take place throughout the world. One recent participant admitted that she was comfortable to speak about things she hadn’t even shared with her husband saying, “it was a direct result of women supporting women”.

A truly great way to break down your own barriers, and to bond with fellow females.

bonus: THE PENIS FESTIVAL IN JAPAN

Traditionally the penis festival in Japan, officially known as Kanamara Matsuri, was a space to pray for fertility, safe sex and healthy childbirth. In recent years this unique festival has become social media famous and has, in turn, turned into quite the flamboyant spectacle. Pilgrims carry huge models of male genitalia through the streets of Kawasaki while crowds look on dressed in plastic penis or vulva costumes, and street vendors sell penis shaped lollipops, candles, headwear, and more. It’s all taken in good humour however, and the festival raises money towards important research into HIV.

Go expecting to get some fun selfies, not to achieve any sense of spirituality.

How to Handle Loneliness as a Solo Traveler

As a solo traveler, feeling lonely at times often comes with the territory. You’re out in the world and want to experience local sights, sounds, foods and culture. But what happens when loneliness sets in? How can you manage your feelings and carry on? We show you how to handle loneliness while you’re on the road.

Loneliness can hit solo travelers in many different ways. Maybe it will hit the hardest when you lack entertainment in the after-dinner, before bedtime lull. Maybe it’s when you’re watching an incredible sunset, longing for someone to witness it with you. Or maybe it’s the occasions you’re faced with eating dinner alone in a fancy restaurant.

Whenever it is, know that you’re not alone.

Most solo travelers experience loneliness at some point during their journey, but thankfully there are ways to mitigate it. In fact, now more than ever help is at hand. Our modern, connected, social world is a source of high-value when it comes to overcoming feelings of loneliness.

But how?

Use apps and technology

Let’s talk technology. If you’re lucky enough to be a solo female traveler in the 21st century then – thanks to apps and technology – you’re lucky to have the world at your fingertips, too. Alongside instant travel information, tips, and tricks, there are many apps and tools to help you overcome feelings of loneliness while you’re on-the-go.

Apps to stay in touch with friends and family:

First things first. Make sure you, your friends and your family download the apps needed to stay in touch; this may be dependent on your location. For much of the world Skype, Whatsapp and Facebook Messenger will do the job well but usage rules vary country to country, so be sure to research your destination and download the apps that are permitted in your location. If you’re visiting China, for example, make sure you have WeChat installed on your phone before you travel.

A quick call back home can work wonders for overcoming loneliness.

Download Skype for Android | Download Skype for iPhone

Download Whatsapp for Android | Download Whatapp for iPhone

Download FB Messenger on Android | Download FB Messenger on iPhone

Download WeChat for Android | Download WeChat for iPhone

Apps to make new friends:

Facebook groups. Once you’re set up to contact those back home, there are a few more apps and tools you can install to help navigate your new destination while making friends along the way. Facebook groups are a good place to start. Join groups relevant to your interests and destination to find out about local activities – at which there will be new people to meet. The Solo Female Traveler Facebook group is also a great place to look for other travelers in your area; members of our/this group have often met up abroad and become life-long friends!

CoolCousin. To find out more about your destination and to chat with locals, download CoolCousin. This is essentially a mapped out list of recommendations from locals to help you find the best restaurants, bars, activities, accommodation, and more. But the great thing about CoolCousin is that you can connect with the local content creator, ask questions, and on occasion actually meet up with them too.

Download CoolCousin on Android | Download CoolCousin on iPhone

Meetup. The Meetup app is a fantastic places to, well, do what the name suggests and meet up with others in your area. This app has many, many meet up groups covering a really diverse range of interests. And we mean diverse. A quick search in Mexico City at the time of writing brought up groups dedicated to yoga, wine tasting, board games, coding, and butterfly-spotting! Sign up, set your preferences and go meet like-minded people in your location.

Download Meetup on Android | Download Meetup on iPhone

Eatwith. Eatwith is the app to install if you’re looking for people to enjoy some good food with. Here you’ll find varying dining groups to join, ranging from supper clubs at a locals’s home to cooking classes, themed dinners, and food-specific tours. We love the sound of London’s Chicken Wing Crawl and the Night of White Truffles hosted in Berlin, for example.

Download EatWith on Android | Download EatWith on iPhone

Translation apps. With all those new people you’re going to meet, the chances are you may need a translation tool to help you interact with new friends. Choose Google Translate as an all-rounder, TextGrabber to translate written words, or TripLingo to translate both formal language and slang. TripLingo also allows you to connect with a live translator, at an additional cost.

Download Google Translate on Android | Download Google Translate on iPhone

Download TextGrabber on Android | Download TextGrabber on iPhone

Download TripLingo on Android | Download TripLingo on iPhone

Self-care apps:

Many people around the world swear by meditation sessions to maintain good mental health (which yes, includes feelings of loneliness). If you can’t find a group to join locally, download some self-care apps on your cellphone and take time each morning to practice meditation and mindfulness. Calm, Headspace and Insight Timer are all great options.

Download Calm on Android | Download Calm on iPhone

Download Headspace on Android | Download Headspace on iPhone

Download Insight Timer on Android | Download Insight Timer on iPhone

MAKE THE MOST OF SOME ‘YOU TIME’

Speaking of self-care, solo travel is a wonderful chance to step back and make the most of some ‘you time’. If you’re feeling down and lonely, think about things you can do with the time, that you couldn’t otherwise do in your day-to-day life. Take a long lazy bubble bath, get stuck into a good book, or pound the streets with just your own thoughts for company.

Taking the time to enjoy your own company can work wonders in overcoming lonely feelings.

Get to know yourself

As you begin to lean into the time alone and the means to do as you please, your rhythm will change. You’ll start to notice the things that make you happy. Perhaps you’ll discover new passions. Perhaps you’ll start to realise how capable you are. Perhaps you’ll begin to distance yourself from negativity. Perhaps you’ll learn to forgive yourself.

The wonderful thing about solo travel is the time it gives us to check in with our internal voice, discovering and reminding ourselves of who we really are.

Make new friends by joining an group activity

Group activities are such a great way for the solo traveler to meet other people. If you’re new at your destination join a walking tour of the closest city – this will not only help you meet people, but also help you get your bearings and navigate the location better in the days to follow. But it’s not just city tours that are good for overcoming loneliness – look for any group activity that sparks your interest; participate in an art class, find a hiking expedition, or join yoga class.

Find your tribe and get stuck in!

Join a Crowd

If you want the company of people but don’t feel up to actually making conversation with strangers, head for a busy area. Go food-tasting at a street market, spectate at a sporting event, or find a concert to attend. Sometimes just being in the presence of large groups of people will help quash lonely feelings.

Remember why you’re doing it

Above everything else, remember why you chose to travel in the first place. Think about your alternative; staying at home and missing out on all the rich experiences the world has to offer.

The life experiences you’re gaining as you travel will almost certainly more than make up for a few bad moments.

– Loneliness and anxiety can sometimes go hand in hand. If you’re struggling with anxiety about travel read our tips on how to overcome anxiety as a solo female traveler.