How to Travel Solo with Anxiety

Feeling anxious about travel is a common occurrence. Often the best way to handle trips as a nervous traveler is to accept your apprehension, know that it’s normal, and make the trip anyway. These feelings tend to lessen or even disappear once you realize you can handle anything that comes your way. There are, however, ways to mitigate your feelings.

They say a picture paints a thousand words but in today’s online world many photos hide a thousand words, too. Look at all those other fearless females, you say to yourself as you scroll through endless travel photos online. They’re jumping on airplanes solo, hiking mountain peaks, exploring off-the-beaten-track villages, dining in fancy restaurants alone. Those girls look happy, they look comfortable, and they look excited to be traveling solo. Why don’t I feel the same?

The truth is, anxiety about travel is normal. We know it might not feel that way when you’re endlessly viewing curated online-lives, but with around 40% of travelers saying they’ve experienced flight anxiety alone*, not to mention other forms of anxiety, it’s a common occurrence.

The good news is, there are ways to mitigate your fears – allowing you not only to accept them – but to make that dream trip anyway, and to really enjoy it. Plus, just think how you’ll feel on your return, knowing you can do anything you put your mind to.

Travel fears come in many, often not well-defined, packages. Starting to understand the elements that are bothering you is the first step to overcoming them. Is it a fear of flying? Are you worried about spending so much time alone? Perhaps it’s the language barrier and perceived lack of of communication while abroad? You may find it’s a combination of these, or more. The fear of the unknown can hit even the most practiced traveler but identifying what it is you’re worried about opens up a space to acknowledge it, process it, and ultimately move through it. Here are some ways to help with anxiety about travel:

Before your trip

Look after your physical well-being:

In the days, weeks and months running up to your trip, assist your mental health by maintaining your physical health. Work out, eat well, and take your vitamins to boost your immune system. Exercise has been found to have a positive impact on depression, anxiety and more – while better nutrition will help you fight off any viruses for an illness-free trip. No-one wants to be sick while traveling but for those suffering from anxiety it can kick-start more serious concerns while on the road. Quash those bugs before they hit.

Research your destination:

Fear of the unknown can cause feelings of anxiety but in today’s online and app-heavy world, there are many things you can do, pre-trip, to ease this. For example, download tools including Google Maps and/or local transport apps to plan your airport to accommodation journey before you even set foot off the flight. By planning your airport exit plan, you’re already one step ahead.

Consider your accommodation - make it a ‘safe space’:

The accommodation you choose can have a big impact on your trip. Would you feel more comfortable somewhere you can meet other travelers to chat with? If so, a hostel might be an appropriate place for you to stay. Do you want somewhere to retreat back to, somewhere you can read a good book in the bath? Then consider booking a room in a hotel, allowing you some alone time. By booking accommodation that will act as your ‘safe space’, you’ll know you have somewhere you can head to at the end – or even middle – of a long day to rest and revive.

Find a knowledgable community:

Twenty years ago finding out information about your destination was tricky. If you didn’t know someone who had visited, your resources were limited. Today? Even if none of your friends or family have been, you can look up information in a matter of seconds online or, better still, join an online community of travelers. The Solo Female Traveler Network Membership is full of travel resources and community members who will help you every step of the way. Knowledge is power, after all.

Remind yourself why you want to visit:

Think about why you want to visit your chosen destination. This may sound simple but in pre-trip anxiety mode, the answers are often forgotten. Is it the history? The culture? The food? The lifestyle? Remember all the reasons you had it on your list in the first place and try to imagine yourself there, exploring the things you love. Looking at photos online can help boost excitement, too.

ON THE JOURNEY TO YOUR DESTINATION

Know your route and build in extra time:

We’ve covered making sure you know how to get from the airport to your accommodation when you land, but travelling from home to the airport is often overlooked and can also be stressful. Be sure to know your route and the time it takes to make. Oh, and allowing yourself some extra time to get there will help too. Nothing is more panic-inducing than thinking you’re going to miss your flight. It’s always better to be an hour early than an hour late.

Breathe:

Slowing your breathing really does help to reduce stress-levels. An anxious person tends to breathe in quick succession – reducing oxygen intake and upsetting a whole host of physical functions. It can cause increased heart rate as well as dizziness; and this is the last thing you want when you’re already feeling upset. A series of slow inhales and exhales is a simple breathing exercise that can help reduce feelings of anxiety at any time during your trip. Remember to practice it from the outset – and anytime you need it.

Ask for help if you need it:

Don’t be afraid to ask for help as you navigate your way across the world. Not sure where your check-in desk is? Enquire at an information desk. Need to know what time your bus leaves? Ask staff or locals you see on the street. The majority of people will be happy to help.

AT YOUR DESTINATION

Book a walking tour (ideally for your first day:

Whether you’re a first or one-hundredth time solo female traveler, with or without anxiety – group walking tours are a fantastic introduction to a destination. Think about it, you’re showing up in an unfamiliar place, unsure how to plan your activities, and don’t know anyone in the area. A group tour will orientate you with your new destination, plan everything for you, and you’ll meet other travelers. That’s a win-win-win.

Know your boundaries – but push them:

As solo females, it’s important to know and understand personal boundaries while travelling. While we urge you to get out and explore, it’s equally necessary to understand your comfort zones and limits. That said and within reason, limits are there to be pushed. If you’re happy exploring solo in daylight but not at night, book a group tour for after dark. If you don’t like dining solo, do it anyway; use a book or your cellphone as back up, but keep yourself open to conversations with other diners or waiters. By pushing your boundaries you’ll begin understand just how much you’re able to overcome, and how great those achievements can make you feel.

Understand you can deal with anything that comes your way:

We can’t promise that nothing will go wrong as you travel, but we do know that often having small things go against you can be a blessing in disguise. So you missed your train? That’s ok, find out when the next train to your destination is and get on it. You ended up walking to the wrong neighbourhood? Great, you have somewhere new to explore. Your pre-booked taxi didn’t show? Take another means of transport – perhaps learning how the location’s transport system works in the process. You’ll feel like an unstoppable champion once you figure out how to overcome obstacles.

KEEP SOME MONEY ASIDE:

It’s always tempting to go all out while you’re abroad because, who knows when you’ll next have the chance to ‘go here’, ‘see this’, ‘do that’… But knowing that you’ve got some money set aside for the unexpected will be a huge source of comfort; whether you need to use it, or not. You’ll be able to navigate the streets with a little more ease knowing you can jump into a taxi if needed, or that you can check out of a hostel and into a 5* for some R&R if you’re feeling unwellI. And if you don’t end up using what you’ve set aside – fantastic – it’s in the bank for your next trip.

IMMERSE YOURSELF INTO THE EXPERIENCE:

The fear of ‘getting out there’ usually becomes more exaggerated the longer you think about it, while actually being out and about can offer positive distraction. If you’re feeling anxious about facing your destination – take a deep breath, remember your route-plan and step foot outside of your accommodation door. Once you’re taking in all those new sights and doing what you enjoy; exploring historical monuments, shopping at markets, or taking photos at all the best selfie hotspots, you’ll have less time to think about your worries.

SOCIALISE (BUT ONLY WHEN YOU WANT TO:

For the solo traveler, a common fear is spending time alone. But it needn’t be this way. Socialising doesn’t means you need to be the life and soul of every party, it can be a simple as plucking up the courage to introduce yourself to a fellow solo traveler. Simple questions such as asking someone where they’re from or for local recommendations, work wonders as conversation starters.

TRUST LOCALS:

We know it can be hard to trust strangers – especially in unfamiliar surroundings. But people are generally kind and helpful, so opening up to locals is a great way to overcome fear. If you need directions or want to know where to find the best restaurant and/or gin bar – locals are the best source of information. We’re sure, once you’ve asked (and found answers!) a couple of times, speaking to locals will become second nature.

After your trip

Congratulate yourself!

First and foremost, recognise what you’ve achieved; you’ve gone from feeling anxious about solo travel to actually doing it! Remind yourself of all your accomplishments – you deserve to feel proud.

Realise how much you can handle:

Whether your trip was smooth sailing, or whether you had to overcome a few hiccups – be mindful that you you faced your travel-fears head on and survived. Knowing that you can overcome any fears or obstacles as you solo travel is powerful. And know that you can do it again too. In fact, the more you do it, the easier it’s likely to become.

Look back on the positives:

Remember all the good times you had on your trip. Maybe it was sitting with a book in a back street café, maybe it was joining a group tour and making friends, or maybe it was finding yourself face-to-face with something you once thought you’d only see in the movies. Store the positive memories, you made them and you deserve to remember them.

Start thinking about your next trip:

You’ve done it once, you can do it again. Start to think about where you want to head to next. That travel bug is a hard one to shake, but we – and we’re sure you too – wouldn’t have it any other way.

*Flight anxiety research from Aviation Mental Health

On your travels, you can always fall back on your fellow members for support and encouragement. You can even see who is in the same city as you to meet up when you just need a buddy. Read more.

Mental Wellness Practices For The Solo Female Traveler

Traveling solo builds confidence, self-love, and allows for self-discovery, but the change in routine and being far from home has its downsides. It can wreck havoc on our health, especially our mental and emotional health, but it doesn’t have to ruin our experience. Here are some travel habits to pick up in order to stay balanced.

REST YOUR MIND — SLEEP AND MEDITATION

Missing sleep can be one of the key causes of some of our least favorite mental health symptoms. Sleep acts as the body’s ‘reset button,’ and it necessary for most of us to get the bare minimum number of hours a night if we want to entertain any hope of functioning at full capacity the next day. Snoring hostel mates and fluctuating time zones tend to be the most frustrating causes of sleepless nights. An eye mask and ear plugs go a long way in getting and staying asleep almost anywhere.

If getting to sleep is the issue, maybe an overactive mind is keeping you up. Meditation is best practiced daily, but it it’s also a useful tool whenever you are overstimulated or in a situation where you need to calm your thoughts. When you find yourself on that crowded bus, turn all of your inward and outward focus on your breath until you find yourself calming.

BE GRATEFUL FOR THE MOMENT

Some people say that depression stems from living in the past, and anxiety from living in the future — so if you’re perfectly settled in the present, there is no worry. If you’re 100% focused on the present moment and doing your absolute best in any situation, then the future takes care of itself.

Whatever your circumstances, take a moment, take a breath, and look around you. You are traveling! Your travel dreams have come to fruition and even though it’s hard sometimes, you are doing. So watch every color cross the sky of that sunset, people watch from a cafe, or pull your camera out and snap away. It’s going to be ok, so let it all go except for what is right in front of you.

Challenge Your Limits

I know you are already stressed, so why would you go and do something that scares you? Because it will pull you right out of your funk and into the present moment! Plus, an endorphin rush will surely perk up your mood.

So try something thrilling if you’re up for up for it. Surfing, hiking, zip-lining, rappelling, scuba diving, check out what is available nearby. It can make a huge difference for your happiness level and remind you why you left home to travel in the first place.

Go with the flow when things go wrong

The truth of travel is, no matter how much you prepare, you always run the risk of losing control of things. That’s why travel insurance exists, because you can’t possibly predict all the ways that your plans will eventually go sideways. It’s when things go wrong and you handle them, you will discover how capable and strong you really are. In fact, when things don’t go according to plan, that’s when we are more open for help from kind locals and can call upon our community for support. You will find your way, just go with the flow and lose attachments to your plans.

MAKE NEW FRIENDS

We travel solo for a reason, but that doesn’t mean we always want to be alone. Making friends on the road is one the most rewarding parts of travel. When you are feeling low, it may feel natural to retreat to solitude, but I encourage you to sit outside at a cafe. Lounge around in the hostel lobby, or join a walking tour or meetup. Other travelers are the most friendly, inspiring people to be around. Sharing a deep belly laugh with a person who is unlike yourself serves to remind us how we’re all human and we all have a deep, inherent, implicit value — and, because of that, the world immediately becomes a better place.

DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE DOWN DAYS — EMBRACE BEING ALONE

Just like there are high, happy moments of traveling solo, there are also some low days. We may have traveled many miles from home, we can’t leave our problems behind. Instead of escaping them, sit with the feeling until it passes. Wander around, read in a park, write in a journal, or even totally zone out with a day of Netflix. It’s ok. Self-care is especially important, so eat healthy, regular meals, drink plenty of water, and fill your head with plenty of kind words.

about the author

Rachel ‘Rosie’ Young

Rosie is a writer and yoga teacher who explores the globe as a digital nomad. She encourages her readers and students to blast through personal limitations and live life to their fullest. Find more of Rosie’s work here.

A Local Solo Female Traveler’s Guide to New York City

NYC is a dream for solo female travel for so many reasons, but the most important one, is that unlike many locations around the world, almost everything in New York City is experienced the same whether you are on your own or with others. Visiting museums, eating out, joining tours, exploring parks, seeing attractions, riding the subway, taking in a show.

Not only are all these activities just as fun and safe for a solo traveler as those partaking in group travel, many times there is a huge advantage to being solo in NYC, as you will get to do so much more and oftentimes, for far less money. Having been single in NYC for most of the last 20 years, I’ve done everything on my own and here are some of my favorites.

Dining Solo in NYC

Dining solo in NYC is the easiest and least intimidating place to do so. Almost every single bar, restaurant and hotel has a bar area where you can grab a drink and/or a meal. NYC bartenders are the absolute best in the world and very experienced with all kinds of single customers.

They will usually chat with you, introduce you to the other patrons (regulars) at the bar – and if you ask them about what to do in NYC, you’re in for a entire night of advice (aka, bragging) because all NYers love to brag about our city. After 10 minutes at a bar, you will not feel like you went out alone. This doesn’t apply to clubs or to a packed bar 4 customers deep on a Friday night, but just about any other time or place, dining solo in NYC is easy as can be.

Still a little nervous? Grab yourself a copy of AM New York, the free daily newspaper at most subway stations and work the crossword puzzle. Nothing is more of a people magnet than a women doing a crossword puzzle at a bar and it’s a super easy conversation starter.

Visiting Museums in NYC

It’s a no brainer to visit a NYC Museum solo. As a matter of fact, most of the New Yorkers I know prefer to go alone as they can spend their time exactly how they please while taking in the culture. I guarantee if you went to a party on a Saturday in NYC and asked 10 New Yorkers what they did that day, at least 1 would tell you they visited a museum or art exhibit on their own. That’s just how we roll.

Unless you are a museum pro, I highly recommend starting with a free Museum tour. The Met offers them all day at least every hour, usually more. The American Museum of Natural History offers multiple free tours throughout the day. MoMA usually requires payment, but they have free audio guides.

Broadway and Other Shows Solo

Now here is where being solo is a HUGE advantage! When bargain hunting for Broadway tickets, whether online, at TKTS or via the daily lottery, your odds increase dramatically when you just want 1 ticket! You’ll get better seats at lower prices, as well as not have to plan so early. It’s not like having someone there with you makes a difference anyway, sitting in the dark and not speaking. I’ve seen at least a dozen shows this way and it’s the best! I decide that morning I want to go a show, look at the TKTS app to see what’s available and head to the booth to wait in line for tickets. So easy and so much better than that family of 6 in line ahead of me who thinks they have a shot of getting same day tickets to any popular show.

9 Cool Things to do in NYC Solo

Visit Strand Bookstore in Union Square. Also see which authors are doing book signings – an awesome way to meet celebrities.

Rent a bike and explore the West Side Highway. Grab a frozen margarita at The Boat Basin. Or bike through Central Park and then cocktail at either The Boathouse or Tavern on the Green.

See what’s going on at the 92nd Street Y. There’s dozens of classes, lectures, celebrities there all the time.

Join a Meet Up. Seriously, we have more than any city. There’s like 25 different meetups just for beach volleyball. You are guaranteed to meet locals with whom you have something in common and likely sightsee in the process, the way the locals do.

Use Class Pass. Try Equinox, Barry’s Bootcamp or one of the thousands of yoga choices – try a class on a rooftop!

Try a unique movie theater. Nitehawk in Brooklyn, The Angelika in SoHo or Film Forum in the West Village. You can even get food and drinks delivered to your seat.

Pop in a day spa. You can go to any spa, but the Russian and Turkish Baths in the East Village are a local bargain, Spa Castle in Queens is like the adult version of a water park for pampering and Koreatown is known for their 24 hour specials – it’s where all the Broadway stars go after shows.

Get lost in a museum. Any museum really. But the best lesser known favorites are The Cloisters, The Frick and The Tenement Museum.

Join a running club. There are free running clubs every day of the week. Nike, Jack Rabbit, Paragon. Lululemon. Run over the Brooklyn Bridge, past the Statue of Liberty or through Central Park, while doing your body good and meeting locals.

What NOT To Do in New York City Solo?

I have a pretty strong stomach for solo activities, but let me tell you about one of life’s most “I wish I were not here by myself” moments. I went to a Yankees game solo. Normally, not a big deal. But the 5 seats on either side of me were totally empty, so it was clear I was alone. In true Yankees tradition, between the top and bottom of the 6th inning, they play YMCA while the crew cleans up. There I was dancing and singing by myself…and suddenly up on the Jumbo Tron for the entire stadium to see.

Clearly, I was perfectly safe, just extremely embarrassed. The only thing I would recommend not doing solo in NYC is walking off the beaten path at night. You can walk through about 99% of Manhattan alone and be perfectly fine. Anywhere there are hotels, doormen, 24 hour delis and people, there’s no problem. Just be careful in more residential areas where there are less people around.

about the author

Melissa from NYC Insider

Melissa is a fourth generation native New Yorker and has published www.nycinsiderguide.com for 10+ years. She loves just about everything in NYC and wants you to make the absolute most of your time in NYC. Enjoy her free maps and guides and feel free to ask any questions about traveling in NYC.

How to Deeply Connect with a New Culture

Travel is a very personal and exhilarating experience. I believe the key to experiencing a journey of optimum exploration and adventure is to connect with local cultures. Depending on your personality, it may seem intimidating or maybe it comes naturally to you. Either way, I have tried and tested these tips to help all of us solo female travelers navigate and connect with a diverse array of cultures anywhere in the world.

Consider the Purpose of Your Trip

Take some time to ask yourself why you have chosen the place you would like to explore. Answer the following questions honestly; they can serve as a guide throughout your trip. Get yourself a cute little notebook even. Write them down and keep them with you to remind yourself when you need it.

1. What is going on in your life right now that is inspiring you to travel?
2. What are you expecting to find or achieve through this trip?
3. What are three things you would like to learn about on this trip?

Do Your Homework

Traveling to a new place is exciting, but with travel comes responsibility. While it is important to figure out where you are going, how to get there, and necessary safety precautions, it is also important to learn about cultural customs, etiquette, and basic phrases in the local language.

Cultural Customs:

Pay attention to local or religious holidays.

Each and every destination is filled with fascinating complexities. Certain Muslim countries are very strict with how they operate during the holy month of Ramadan. For example, Dubai does not allow people to eat or drink in public during this month, while Istanbul is a little more lenient with how they operate.

Learn about the basic politics.

It is generally a good idea to learn about the basic politics of the country before departing for your trip. Find out whether it is appropriate to talk about politics; some countries are not comfortable talking about local politics, and these discussions may leave you in a precarious position with respect to safety.

left hand or right?

Many countries in Asia, Middle East, and Africa use their left hand to clean themselves after using the toilet. Because of this custom, it is considered rude to use your left hand to eat, shake hands, paying for something, and when shopping in these countries.

YES OR NO?

Some countries like Bulgaria, Sri Lanka, and Egypt nod their head ‘no’ when they mean ‘yes.’ This can be confusing for cultures used to a different way of agreeing or disagreeing.

Locals can always help.

From my experience, locals have been willing to help me out when I have learned basic phrases to get around.

They have appreciated the time I spent learning about their mother tongue, and are more willing to help with directions, food selections, and deals for local goods.

Language can be confusing.

Language is clearly a great form of communication, but it can also be confusing across cultures. Here are some examples – the word ‘hammer’ means ‘awesome’ in German, and ‘chips’ can mean ‘French fries’ in parts of Europe. Google search language misnomers for the country you are traveling to in order to avoid any embarrassing mishaps.

Useful phrases to learn include:

Hello, goodbye, and thank you.
Hello my name is…
How much does this cost?
Where is the bathroom?
I am hurt.
I need help.
Can you show me how to get here on the map?

If you have dietary restrictions, learn how to communicate this in advance.

Etiquette:

I cannot emphasize the importance of practicing proper etiquette when going overseas. Respecting the nuances of the local culture will affect the quality of your trip. Research how people dress on different occasions and in the different areas you will be traveling to. Temples in Asia require visitors to cover their shoulders and knees. Villages adopt more conservative clothing etiquette than big cities. Being mindful of these cultural practices will help you feel comfortable and will provide you with the ability to connect with local cultures in a deeper way.

Culinary experiences have always been a medium to connect with culture. What I recommend researching in advance are dietary restrictions you may have with the local cuisines, where to find alternative food options and whether or not the local culture uses silverware or their hands to eat food. You don’t want to seem disgusted or surprised by your choice of food options or utensils/non utensils. Body language can transcend languages. If you are uncomfortable using your hands, bring your own set of plasticware (bringing a knife is not advisable).

How to Connect with The Local Culture

All of the tips that I have provided above lead to this section. Connecting with local culture when you travel is what sustains the entire experience and also aids in the making of new friendships. I highly suggest thinking about the purpose of your trip as mentioned in Part 1. Empathy is the best tool to use when trying to connect with people you want to learn about. Self-reflect on your intentions and where you are in your life and think about putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. Craft open-ended questions that connect you to that person and draft some questions ahead of time as a guide to expand your learning. Some examples from my trips are below:

Example 1: I have always marveled about how other cultures find happiness in their daily life because I like to remind myself about how to be happy on a daily basis. I tend to ask, “What is your daily life like?” and “What do you look forward to doing after work or on the weekend?”

Example 2: As a new mother I have been curious about how other cultures raise their children. On a recent trip to Jamaica, my son got sick. I asked some Moms, “What do you do when your children are sick?”

Example 3: I enjoy trying local delicacies. To learn about a local food or fruit, I like to ask, “What is a favorite food/fruit that you think I should try here?”

Traveling solo is a transformative experience if you take the time to self-reflect and do your homework to better understand basic customs and cultural nuances of the location. I have always cherished and learned from my travels when I take my trip to a deeper level by finding ways to connect with the local culture.

Your travel experiences are what you make of them. What do you expect to learn from the culture you are visiting? What are you curious about?

About the author

Sophia Hyder Hock

Sophia Hyder Hock is a responsible travel enthusiast, yoga instructor, Mom, and the Founder/CEO of Papilia, a boutique diversity and inclusion design and training company that incorporates customized wellness principles into every project.