Chelsea Hottovy, from San Francisco, has traveled to all seven continents, plenty of them on her own. But before her first group trip, she was terrified of one thing: walking into a room full of women who might not like her. Here’s what happened on SoFe’s first-ever trip to Tanzania.
Like the night before a new school
My rule has always been that I’d rather do it alone than not do it at all. I’m a solo traveler. I show up with a backpack and figure it out.
But some places just aren’t as fun, as safe, or as affordable on your own. So when I found a group that took solo women to Antarctica, I booked. And I was really nervous.
Not about Antarctica. About the women. What if they were lame? What if they were mean? What if they didn’t like me? It felt exactly like the night before the first day at a new school.
“What if they were lame, what if they were mean, what if they didn’t like me?”
Here’s what I eventually figured out. Solo women travelers are extremely cool and nice. I’m a solo woman traveler. Of course it was going to be excellent.
Walking into breakfast alone
I still felt the nerves on my second SoFe trip, to Tanzania. I flew in a couple of days early to climb Kilimanjaro, which meant I missed the welcome dinner. Everyone else had already met. I hadn’t.
So the next morning I walked into breakfast alone, right back in new-kid mode.
By the end of that one meal, we’d swapped Instagrams and travel stories. By the end of the trip, we had real plans to see each other again. And we actually followed through.
“Started the trip hoping they weren’t weird or awful. Left it with seven actual real friends.”
I thought group tours weren't for me
I really believed I was a cool lone cowgirl who tackled the world on her own. Those two days in Tanzania before the trip were a good reminder of what that looks like.
I booked a nice place but had to sort out everything myself, including getting into town. Places I’d heard were great were closed. The restaurant wasn’t as good as promised. It was fine. I love exploring. But I wasn’t in love with Tanzania yet.
Then I landed in the sweet embrace of the group, and everything changed.
Being looked after
We were the first group ever to do this trip, and you’d never know it. Every meal was delicious. Every place was interesting. Vehicles appeared out of nowhere to take us around. There wasn’t a single moment I felt uneasy.
Tallie, our guide, was an incredible herder of cats. We were the cats. She always knew where each of us was, and she had a tip for everything.
My personal MO is to look nothing up until the day before and then miss everything I should have booked months ago. This trip was basically, “Yes, Chelsea, we knew you’d love this and we knew you wouldn’t read about it in time, so we found the best balloon operator in the Serengeti. Please sign here.”
Honestly, I’m a little mad. Next time I travel solo-solo, I have to do all of this myself again.
The moment that only mattered because of them
Cheetahs were the one animal we were all dying to see. One afternoon, a mama cheetah jumped onto the back of our truck to look out for lions. She looked right at me. I sobbed.
But what I remember just as much is the women around me. They made sure I got incredible photos. They hugged me while I cried. They helped me find every single cheetah trinket in the country so I could bring them all home.
It was the same in Antarctica. When we stepped back onto land in Ushuaia, we were holding hands, asking each other, “Did that actually happen?” It did. And the only people I can relive it with are them.
“You can say ‘omg, do you remember…’ and someone jumps in with the rest. You just cannot have that experience by yourself.”
Watching the Great Migration from the back of the bumpiest truck in existence, glass of rosé in hand, would not have been half as fun alone. Neither would the hot air balloon, the goodbye dance-off, or our last night dancing around the pool under the stars in matching robes.
They even saved me from myself. I’m terrible at currency math, and I almost paid $250 for a small bottle of Konyagi that actually cost $8. Lesson learned: let the girls help.
Friends after the trip
We’re scattered all over, so meeting in person isn’t easy. But I talk to so many of the women from Antarctica and Tanzania regularly.
One of the Tanzania girls came to my city for work for a few weeks, and we more or less terrorized the town. Months later, the bartenders still say, “Oh boy, here she is! Is your friend here too?”
For the woman who's hesitating
What surprised me most was how much I loved a group tour. I’m still the lone cowgirl. I just also love the people I met, and I love seeing a country through people who actually know it.
“Sometimes solo travel is more fun with others.”
If you’re worried nobody will like you, I get it. I was too, and I’ve been to seven continents. Go anyway.
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. You get one life, babe. Go do it.
